What-Ever

I thought I should add a little background before getting into the nuggets of this post…because, I still have readers out there following my blog! I never knew Boring could be so interesting…to SO many!

A few weeks ago, I noticed a post on Facebook advertising a free online Bible Study for women. After my slight skepticism kicked-in, I followed the link and ended up on Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Study Homepage. I started reading about the upcoming “Let It Go” Bible Study and it was one of those times that you read a description of yourself and go, “Ewwww…really?” Here is a bit of what I read from the author of the book Let It Go:

By Karen Ehman
Foreword by Candace Cameron Bure (who is also a guest on our Let. It. Go. Conference Call series~details coming soon!)
Women are wired to control. We make sure the house is clean, the meals prepared, the children are dressed, and everyone gets to where they’re going on time. But sometimes our strength of being conscientious can morph into the weakness of being a slight—or all out—control freak! This humorous, yet spiritually practical book will help you to:
  • Take control of your schedule yet welcome interruptions from God
  • Draw the line between mothering and micromanaging
  • Influence your husband instead of manipulating him
  • Learn to control your emotions when you can’t control the circumstances
  • Stop pursuing the appearance of perfection and start pursuing the person of God
One would think over the past few months, I would have conquered the desire or in many cases the need to be in control. Funny thing I’ve found…after physically not being able to do much for my family and our church against my will for so long, I somewhat took off and ran as soon as I got the chance to take a bit of control back. After months of not being able to plan meals, I suddenly sparked a new interest in crock-pot recipes and planned out every night. In fact, if anyone suggested something different, I literally had to rearrange meals in my brain just to get things organized again! Sometimes I actually think it is EASIER to give God control when things are out of our hands. Almost like saying, “Okay God, I tried, now You fix it so I can get back to what I was doing.”

So I am very much a part of this exciting online Bible Study, reading the Let.It.Go. book, following Melissa’s blog and even taking part in a Facebook group with others committed to the study. I have to admit, I’m LOVING being part of a Bible Study that I can complete in my own time while building friendships with women across the globe! It’s my new “me” time…and yea, I like it!

Okay…once a week, Melissa offers a topic to blog about on our personal blogs that reflects on our reading from the week. Here is my topic for this week:

WHAT-EVER! – Share simple ways you can live out this week’s reflection verse. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.” ~ Colossians 3:23 NIV84

As a wife, I strive to be the best wife to my husband and I care very much about what he has to say about how well I’m doing in this role. To my kids, I strive to be the best mom I can be and let me just tell you, they have caught-on! Just the other day, Josh (our newly advanced 5 year-old) was sent to his room. When daddy heard him muttering something he had to check out what was going on. Listening from the other side of the door we heard, “Nobody loves me…nobody loves me…” SERIOUSLY??!! As a mom, this yanks my heart out…and trust me, our kids know this ALL too well! Just a few seconds later Josh returned and said, “I love you mom…can I have ice-cream?” Obviously he knew exactly what he was doing…

I also strive to be the best minister I can be here at my calling at church. I care SO much about how people are feeling, what they are saying and what I can do or organize to help. But I keep in my desk a secret “Encouragement” file completely stuffed with cards, notes, emails, drawings, wrappers and even a crayon that remind me of people that have made a point to encourage me in my role in some way. There have been days that I wonder if any of the planning, recruiting, training, scheduling, meetings, writings…if any of my work really makes any difference. Its in these days I go to my folder and pull out an item and go, “God, you brought this person into my life to encourage me to keep pressing-on…so here am I, send me.”

I struggle defining myself by the way others look at me. I am a wife. I am a mom. I am a Family Minister. BUT first I am a prized child of God. I am a cancer survivor. I am a fighter. I am a writer. But first, I am His child.

Sometimes I forget Who I belong to…Bought “as is” and used as His…you would really think I would have that front and center by now. But sometimes I just get so entrapped by the high-speed of my life and the circumstances that surround me, I forget Who defines me, rather than letting others define my worth. I am working for God, not men.

I’ve discovered by stopping my feet and purposefully finding a spot to just connect with God on a daily basis helps me center my defining role in life. After the mad rush every morning of waking-up, getting the boys up, making breakfast, getting dressed, making sure everyone else is dressed (and matched), grabbing lunches, brushing teeth, brushing hair, finding backpacks, getting in the car, driving to school, unloading, dropping off at classrooms….yea, by the time I get through ALL of that, I find a place to just sit down and open my Bible app and connect with God. I find it the best time to reconnect with Him right before I head to the office to start my day. I regain my focus. My heart rate returns to normal. Usually as I enter my office door, I am thinking about part of the passage I read from that morning…sometimes the very first thing I do is Google a few commentaries to explain what I read a little better. It gets my mind refocused and my heart recharged. But, if I get too focused on other things or distracted that I don’t get in this time with Him, I feel my day goes into a quick tail-spin of trying to please so many requests and demands that I literally feel lost by noon. To me, it literally saves me time and emotional energy to physically stop, read my passage for the day, talk to God and then start my day. Funny how stopping actually gets more done! (And by the way, this took a LONG time to learn!).

I believe we all care a great deal about what others think of us, especially those closest to us. However, there truly is Someone Greater that thought of us before time began. He gave us a hope and a future. He knew when we were going to be born and the exact number of hairs on our head (even through chemo). He knows our deepest thoughts and our secret dreams. He defines us by our relationship with Him, not on outward appearance or worldly values. He helps us be the best wife, mom and Family Minister by working through our lives to impact others. But we can only be used if we submit ourselves to Him first (yea I know…that’s the hard part).

So, I’m trying!

Feel free to follow the Bible Study with me by following Melissa’s blog.


Bethany is an ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach (Christian Coach Institute Graduate), Motivational and Inspirational Speaker, mentor to women and an author. Bethany defines herself as a child of God who loves to use her passion for change to inspire others. She has overcome disabilities, wading through the trials and rewards of marriage and motherhood. She enjoys being a wife to Steve for 10 years and mother to three boys (ages 7, 5 and 2). She is a double brain cancer survivor, a 9 year veteran in the field of youth and children's ministry and has published poetry, featured blog posts for numerous ministry websites and children's ministry curriculum contributions. Bethany is currently working on her first book to be released this Fall as well as various freelancing projects. Bethany always welcomes new coaching clients and speaking opportunities!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

3 thoughts on “What-Ever

  1. Bethany-
    Thank you SO MUCH for participating in the blog hop. Praying for all of us as we learn to stop trying to control and start trusting God. Have a great weekend and remember to LET. IT. GO. 🙂
    {Hugs} Karen Ehman