Yesterday is gone.
Today is here.
Tomorrow is still to be determined.
That’s why today, I wear my old, worn down jogging shoes. Actually, I put these guys on yesterday too. You see, a few months ago Monday January 2nd was my goal date to start jogging again. I love jogging! I actually started during my first ministry out in the desert heat of Arizona. Besides getting me fit for my wedding dress, it was my time to shut the world out – crank up my ipod and spend time with God. By the time I would end, my stress would be gone, I had more energy and I felt better too. Because of my health, my last day jogging was that first Monday in August. My legs hurt so bad and everything started spiraling down from there.
I put my jogging shoes on due to the cold weather.
One of my doctors saw me wearing these yesterday and said, “Bethany…you are the most optimistic person I know. You will get back to jogging soon…its just been slightly delayed.” He saw my shoes as a way to keep my goals in check when in all actuality I HATED these stupid shoes.
Because these last few months have been so crazy, seeing these shoes just reminded me more of what I could no longer do. They made me angry. So, I threw them into the abyss of my closet. I was happy, temporarily.
I’m goal oriented. I strive to not only meet goals, but surpass expectations. It drives me. I want to know where I am going in life. I hate sitting on the sidelines. I love helping others find their purpose and meet goals they never thought possible. Throwing my shoes off was not me. I was irritated. Annoyed. Temporarily giving up hope. I even got a pair of crocs (and got a new pair for Christmas too…thank you Dana!). Crocs are more comfortable on my feet and doctor recommended right now. Yet, these holes don’t mix well with cold weather. So reluctantly…I found my jogging shoes again.
JOSHUA 1:9 – Have I not commanded you to be STRONG and COURAGEOUS? Do not be terrified, do not be DISCOURAGED. For the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
Give it to a guy that admires my optimism to fill my glass half-full. So, I’m wearing my jogging shoes. Looking at them now actually. I think I might eventually get a new pair being these are going on 8 years old…I’ve been in ministry for almost 8 years…WOW! But these shoes have been through so much…we will see…
Don’t give up on your goals. Keep running the race. HE truly is with us wherever we go.
Thank you SO much for the calls, emails, texts, Facebook messages…your prayers, encouragement and company along this roller coaster makes it enjoyable to me. Really…keep em coming and yes – this blog can be shared! That’s the reason it was created! Share away!!
Today has been rough…they used an ultrasound to find a good vein. I lost count on sticks. I’ve been in pain as well…but they are trying a different type of pain med through the iv. All I know is that it is making me very tired…yay…unscheduled nap time!
Tomorrow I’m thinking about renting a new release. I want a good one here people…MAKE ME LAUGH…any ideas???
More later…nap time begins in 3….2…zzzzzzzzz
EDIT (11:36PM) –
I’m still up. Pain has somewhat subsided to the “I’ll tolerate it” phase but my stomach is not giving in. I don’t care at this point…that half of a red velvet cupcake I ate was worth it!
Yet, I’m having a rough night. I mean, seriously, how can you get yourself all excited about getting another treatment in the morning? I’m trying, but truthfully, this is getting old. Tomorrow is just going to be plain hard…it will be my get through day to Friday!
I was able to Skype with my head doctor up in Atlanta. He is still debating whether I will be able to attend my Children’s Pastors Conference. I have an appointment on Monday with him and a few of the other team of doctors to determine if the treatment is indeed working and if I can attend my conference. I would like a YES to both! Start praying friends!
Pray for my attitude tonight. I know I’m optimistic, but I’m no super hero. These treatments are really killing my energy. I didn’t make it home until after 5PM today because of the new meds and complications…FRUSTRATING!!!!
I think I need to plan some kind of a celebration of Friday. Something fun, low key and can mark that I made it through. Skydiving anyone? I’ll take ideas!