I am not a morning person.
I have literally fallen out of bed so many times, I placed a small pillow tucked just under my bed rail to ease the fall. In college, my roommate threatened to bash in my alarm clock, on more than just one occasion. I’m not sure if it was due to the spontaneous vibrations she felt hearing my music awaken her from her slumber at 6am in the morning…or the fact that because I have severe hearing-loss the entire dorm would be at our door begging for anyone to turn the alarm off. Now.
As I said, I’m not a morning person.
…And then God gave me kids. I’m still not a morning person, yet I beat the sun up most everyday because little feet are up…running…jumping…yelling…scrambling…mixing…hitting…biting….grace, grace, grace.
I started running three times a week in January. My silent, vibrating alarm (which my husband dearly loves…sorry college roommate…a tad too late for you) would buzz around 6am in the morning. I would fall, graciously of course, out of bed, stumble to my feet, change into my running gear, make sure my shoes were on the right feet (seriously…I check every morning), grab my phone, grab my bluetooth streamer, grab my hearing-aid and by the grace of God made it out the front door to run until 7am. Once I made it onto the sidewalk, with the music streaming and my legs moving…I was fine. Getting to that point, for a non-morning momma like myself is nothing short of a miracle.
One particular Monday morning, I scrambled out the door somehow forgetting to charge my bluetooth loop set…which meant no music. Oh no…I was not going to wake my lazy, tired, stumble out of bed wearing my shoes on the wrong feet body by silence. I needed a beat. I needed loud screaming musical bliss to wake my mind and silence this temporary agony I was about to endure.
And then my hearing-aid died. Seriously. Now it was official…either I was running in silence or going to bed.
As I literally stood there, alone, in the shadow of my driveway in deep pondering thought, I asked myself, “Without music, what am I going to listen to? I need motivation, who is going to help me?”
Have you ever felt God hit you over the head after asking a question like this to yourself? This would be one of those moments for me. This was an un-invited answer from God that would change the way and the reason for my runs from this morning on.
“Bethany – I can motivate you. In fact, I want you to really hear Me – My voice.”
But I’d rather have my music. But being that wasn’t an option, I decided to try this whole running with God thing that I was pretty sure I was dreaming about.
As I got to the end of the street, I noticed the sunrise for the first time. I know…my runs took me by this same exact place everyday, yet I failed to notice the light, the overwhelming beauty and I had missed seeing God…until today.
Ok Abba, you win. Well played…well played.
Once again, I found myself idle, in awe, in deep thought…yet so stinking glad I decided to accept Abba’s invitation this morning.
As the run continued, so did our conversation. As I brought to Him events that were whirling through my crowded mind, He showed me the state of my heart. As He began to reveal the arrows of lies that sunk deep into my stronghold core, I began to realize how badly I needed this time with my Abba. Each time He called me “loved,” “forgiven,” “His precious child,” and “free” I felt whole as heavy arrows hit the ground. The harder I ran, the more we talked. Although I began the run defining my worth on the circumstances that surrounded me, God always defined me differently. He breathed hope, life, meaning and identity into my weary body. My Abba gave me permission to be myself – the very imperfect, stumbling wife, mommy and most importantly child of God that He made me to be.
Every Monday, I run without my music. I have fallen several times over the past ten months…but not once on a Monday. Coincidence? I think not.
Here is the whisper Abba shared with me after I returned from my first sunrise, healing run:
My child, pay attention to what I say. Listen carefully to My words. Don’t lose sight of them. Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to you once you find them, and healing to your whole body. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:20-23 NLT)
What if we intentionally accept our Abba’s invitation and begin to view our circumstances not by the worlds definitions, but from His Word? What if we ran life with Him and thread our emotions through His promises? Perhaps He would allow us to see His light (our sunrise) through ways we have never experienced before. Let His promises run right beside you today friend!