I never felt needed, until I became a mom.
I have a great husband, three very energetic little boys, a house, meals to prepare, teacher meetings to attend, homework to assist with, snacks to pack, diapers to change…and the list can go on and on.
I was in full-time family ministry before I was able to stay home full-time with my kids. I thought – “Finally, I have time to think a bit for myself and try things I want to do.”
“Mom – I need you to wipe my butt” a voice cries out as little fingers peer under our bathroom door.
The bathroom is the only sense of private thinking in our entire house.
My dreams? My time? What was I thinking?
And those days that I find myself tripping over the exact same matchbox car that has been mysteriously moved thought our house to catch me when I least expect it…
Those days when the pile of dishes in my sink actually casts a shadow onto my kitchen floor that needs vacuumed…
Those days that my phone buzzes a reminder to grab snacks for a preschool class as we are literally running out the door…
Those days that our youngest wakes-up with a cold and spreads the love all over me all day long…
Those days will end all too soon.
One day I will blink and the chaos will turn into quiet order. Everything will have a place. I may be left with my thoughts. But our kids will be gone, living life without needing me to hold their hand…or wipe their butt.
As I watch our two oldest head to school everyday, my heart silently breaks knowing the time at home with them is forever gone. They don’t need me as much as they used to…but they do need me. And that makes up for the dirty dishes in excuse for a spontaneous fort-building session.
But they don’t need me as much as they need God.
As you watch your kids leave your front door, remember they are not alone. You are not alone. Your wisdom is rooted deep with these children you have raised. But they are never ours, but His. Teach them to listen to the whisper that can guide their every step – the gentle whisper you cling to as they shut the door behind them.
I hear Abba whispering:
Bethany, direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. (Proverbs 22:6 NLT)
They need me to need Him.
They need me to find encouragement from His Word.
They need me to go to Abba’s lap first and show them what being in His presence does to calm my life.
They need to see me pray and pray for others.
…and they need me to wipe their butt with a smile.
God never told us our life wouldn’t be messy…but every mess can be used as His message.
Don’t blink. Enjoy the mess and fall in love with God during these crazy carpooling years. He is with them. He is with you.