Listening

Silence is pure agony to the one that feels alone, yet to the child of God it is an ordained appointment with Abba.

God brought me into existence with the gift of severe hearing loss in both ears. My world has no lack of noise. I am a wife and mom to three young boys. Therefore, when God decides to grab my attention early one morning by short-circuiting my hearing-aid during the craziness of the carpool routine, it throws a static blow to this mom’s world.

Silence is gut wrenching abandonment. Suddenly, I lost the ability to truly connect with my husband. My mind spiraled trying to interpret his body language, his temperament and my satisfaction rating. My mind rushed through the endless possibilities like a puppy playing fetch with my emotions. My boys temporarily lost their over-communicative mommy. Not even abruptly invented gestures could ease the barrier of finding a fishing experiment gone bad in the toilet…again.  

I found myself in tears one night feeling incredibly alone, and unprotected while trying to stand for the ones I loved the most. As my heart shattered before His presence, I listened intently for a reply. What I received was far greater than what I had lost. I listened as I heard Him speak to me. His comforting hands held me in that moment in a way this orphan had never experienced. I needed to listen to His voice – filled with sounds of Truth, echoes of peace and resounding waterfalls of love. His Truth seemed to instantly put a soundproof barrier from my negative thoughts and I was overcome by the applause that He had chosen me as His child, dearly loved and cherished. Once you listen to that sweet song, life truly never sounds the same again. Silence is filled with a constant lullaby celebrating the end of loneliness. As His Child I took my place in His great symphony with confidence. 

God directed His music to allow my left ear to receive sound for the first time in my life and now I listen to the world around me in stereo. It seems so surreal that all of these events occurred in the order they did over the course of a month. God interrupted my life of hearing to show me the art of listening. 

Here I am Lord. I am waiting and listening. Use me today. 

Bethany is an ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach (Christian Coach Institute Graduate), Motivational and Inspirational Speaker, mentor to women and an author. Bethany defines herself as a child of God who loves to use her passion for change to inspire others. She has overcome disabilities, wading through the trials and rewards of marriage and motherhood. She enjoys being a wife to Steve for 10 years and mother to three boys (ages 7, 5 and 2). She is a double brain cancer survivor, a 9 year veteran in the field of youth and children's ministry and has published poetry, featured blog posts for numerous ministry websites and children's ministry curriculum contributions. Bethany is currently working on her first book to be released this Fall as well as various freelancing projects. Bethany always welcomes new coaching clients and speaking opportunities!