Leaving A Legacy

Your Life Coaching Moment

Leaving a legacy is easy. Leaving the right legacy you actually want people to follow is a completely different challenge.

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I am a wife, stay-at-home mom, a professional life coach, a public speaker, a book writer and an active blogger (among many other hats). It doesn’t take much for my footprints to leave a mark in the lives of others in my fast-paced world. But, the footprints I see stamped on the hearts of those that know me the best are the legacy marks that get my attention the most.

* When my husband thinks about me, does He see Christ in my actions?
* When my boys think about me, do they see a mom who is God’s girl?
* When my coaching clients reflect on our time together, will they remember a transformational experience led by the Holy Spirit?
* Will my audience see a speaker totally free through Christ?
* When my readers experience my book, will they see a girl who is on a thriving journey with God?

Will I ever feel like I have done enough to leave the legacy I really want others to follow?

Tough questions lead to revealing answers.

What is your lifestyle saying about the legacy you are leaving right now? Do you really want others to follow your example? Is it worth it?

For 9 years I worked outside of our home as a professional youth and family minister. After my battle with cancer and the birth of our third child, I welcomed the gift to stay at home with all three boys. My stay-at-home mom journey began just over 2 years ago.

I thought the tug on my heart I felt every time I left the house to go to work would fade away.
I thought it would be easy to fire up my passion to connect with other women through writing, coaching and speaking.
I thought I could finally relax.

I thought wrong.

Regardless if you are a mom leaving your house everyday with a lump in your throat watching your son tear-up in the front window (ahem) or a mom that would cry if you could freely walk past the front window and drive away (been there too!) – we share one common bond.

Leaving the right legacy is hard.

As moms, we are juggling so many balls between our kids, caring for the home, assisting with schoolwork, extra-curricular activities, volunteering, meal plans and don’t even get me started on why our family does not have a dog (can you guess?).

Then we add our passion to the mix. You know, the very thing you do or dream of doing that sends a fire from your heart through your entire body? That dream you’ve had ever since you were a little girl? That very thing you know that you were born to do?

So, how does your role as a mom compete with your passion? Does it? Mine does.

I absolutely love my kids! Those of you who are regulars on here know my boys well (some of my best stories come from my boys!). I feel called to be their mom and I am passionate about doing everything I can to show my boys Christ in my life. They are such a vital part of my legacy. In my life, my passion flows from God to my family and then to ministry.

My passion to walk with women as they travel the survivor to thriver journey keeps me awake at night. My calendar is filled with colors, one for my husband, one for each child and yet another color for activities built around my survivor to thriver ministry vision. Some days are literally more colorful than others. Sometimes the colors play well together and other days they turn into that gooey shade of brown you made in your elementary art class.

Let’s face it, we are moms that have been wired by God for a specific purpose. We are moms in continual ministry with our families and through our God-given passion. We were made for this.

Yet, why do we view ourselves as failures so many times? Oh wait, you thought it was just you? Join the club!

I still consider myself a rookie at this whole stay-at-home mom writer/life coach/speaker thing. I don’t have it all figured-out. I crave new ideas to help me keep my worship thriving, my family growing and my ministry reaching-out further. And I drop the ball, a lot. Here is a huge lesson God has been teaching me lately about leaving the right legacy for everyone in my little sphere of influence:

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Did you catch that? God looks at the heart. While those around us may initially only see our outward actions, God sees what is really driving us. God knows our intentions better than anyone ever will. God knows our dreams and our heartaches both as a mom and His daughter. God knows your heart and loves you continually. You are enough in this very moment for His unconditional love and acceptance. You are enough for Him to use you in amazing ways. You are enough to leave a legacy in His hands.

To my amazing hard working mom friends:

* When your toddler has found his way onto the kitchen counter again, God sees your patience.
* When you find yourself up late at night writing a message, God sees your fire.
* When your quiet time is interrupted by “Mom I had an accident…again” God goes with you.
* When you leave the driveway to fill the cup of others God will fill your cup too.
* When your favorite place of your home becomes the kitchen floor making crazy videos with your kids, God is laughing right with you.

Quit looking around trying to figure out how your legacy looks like in the hearts of others. Instead, point your worth to the very One Who willingly chooses to remain in your heart this very moment. And He doesn’t make mistakes. He knows exactly what He is doing.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns. Phil. 1:6 NLT

God knows your heart inside and out. You are never alone, stuck between your family and your ministry.

Here are a few tips I’ve learned so far:

* God sees your heart. Search for His.
* God first. Family second. Ministry third.
* Learn from the balls that drop.
* Only pick-up the balls you are meant to carry.
* Accept grace daily (or even hourly)
* Bring your heart to Him continually and rest.
* Find creative ways to tap into your passion everyday.
* Laughter is required every single day.
* Don’t give-up on the dream you have for your family and your ministry. You can wait on God because He waited a long time for your perfect moment.

Moms, how is your heart today? How does your family and passion mix? What legacy do you strive to leave? Leave me a comment below, tweet me or connect with me on Periscope! If you have subscribed to my blog and read this message in your email, simply hit reply to start messaging with me right away! I love hearing from you!

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Bethany is an ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach (Christian Coach Institute Graduate), Motivational and Inspirational Speaker, mentor to women and an author. Bethany defines herself as a child of God who loves to use her passion for change to inspire others. She has overcome disabilities, wading through the trials and rewards of marriage and motherhood. She enjoys being a wife to Steve for 10 years and mother to three boys (ages 7, 5 and 2). She is a double brain cancer survivor, a 9 year veteran in the field of youth and children's ministry and has published poetry, featured blog posts for numerous ministry websites and children's ministry curriculum contributions. Bethany is currently working on her first book to be released this Fall as well as various freelancing projects. Bethany always welcomes new coaching clients and speaking opportunities!

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10 thoughts on “Leaving A Legacy

  1. I really didn’t have the ministry/parenting mix when I was a young mother. I was working yes. My husband and I work split shifts so we didn’t need a babysitter. To honest, when I look back I really don’t know how I could have fit in a ministry. But I am one of those who puts their whole heart and effort in a ministry. It’s all out or I don’t go type of thing. I don’t spread out very well, (although my hips tell a different story!) I admire any women who does it though. Life is stressful enough without adding to it.

  2. I love this. What a wonderful post to remind me of what truly matters. I find myself often fighting to get back to what really matters most because I am so tangled up in things that really don’t matter.

  3. I love this post. i just wrote about dealing with this issue myself of my passions bumping heads. And you are so right at the end of the day keep your eyes on God and all else will work out.

  4. Bethany, I think about legacy often because it’s easy to get caught up in temporal things that scream for attention and forget eternal things. Blessings! Thanks for the reminder! Stopping by from Three Word Wednesday!

  5. My late father-in-law used to say you’ll always train your kids – just choose to be intentional what you train them to do! Same idea. We’re always influencing the people around us – I just pray God uses me to be his influence and not the world’s. Thanks for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

  6. Your kids are gorgeous! I am so glad that God knows my heart and helps keep me in check. Sometimes I think my intentions are coming from a good place but the Holy Spirit will sometimes convict me of the truth: I am straying from God and listening to my flesh. We must put off the old self and put on the new for we are a new creation in Christ (and sometims that’s a daily/hourly/minute by minute task…)

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