As I’ve been reading “The Best Yes” by Lysa Terkeurst, I’ve seen my writing take on new answers in my life. For me, I write not only because it fills my soul, but because I believe it is my “soul thing” as Lysa calls it. I call it my dream.
When I was little, I would store notebooks of lined paper inside a desk nestled between a few troll dolls and a very used My Little Pony. Yet, when the world around me seemed to make no sense, when I desperately felt completely locked-up inside, I ran for my notebook and my pen to find my freedom. As my pen moved, my entrapped soul seemed to losen gradually from the chains of that day. I started to breathe, exhaling deeper as words danced on my paper. Writing for me felt real, raw and completely natural. Yet, writing was for me only. Why share something so personal?
Until my battle with cancer, my blog seemed like rumblings of so many different directions. But those evenings, as I started typing using the same wrist used to start the chemo just a few hours before, my soul felt so incredibly locked away. My mind sat filled with thoughts and my fears were so real. Yet, once again, as I typed, my soul began to turn, my chains loosened and my breathing gradually became deeper. I found what made my soul turn. I discovered not only why I write, but how it feels to know that I am called to write.
This past weekend, I met a friend at the #p31obsdreams retreat in Asheville, North Carolina. As she approached, she asked if I was the author of this blog. You just can’t get out of a question like that when you have my last name and if you have your picture right on the homepage. As I confirmed her question, she immediately reached out, grabbed me and drew me in to perhaps the tightest, tear-filled hug of my life. A few minutes later she explained how her brother was going through cancer, the exact brain cancer I blogged through years ago, but her brother had completely shut-out the world. She found my blog and simply showed him my words. She told me about the several late night conversations the both of them would have, talking about my little, soul turning words that I was writing just to keep people from asking me continually how I was doing. Yet, my little words allowed a relationship to continue that cancer tried to destroy. I didn’t do that…God did. But how that hug gave me that boost I needed to keep writing. Both her and her brother subscribe to my blog today. This dream just got real…so incredibly raw and real.
I write because I want others to find freedom in my words. I want to gain that freedom through Gods Truth as I share. As my soul turns this very moment, exhaling even deeper still, I know my dream lying deep within my heart. God knows with each letter I type, I’m just doing my soul thing – a dream bubbling up inside of me. I write because it’s my ticket to experiencing God in an incredibly close way. I write because I want others to cling to His hope, even if it’s simply to press through until the next day.
Thanks for joining me!
This post was written for Five Minute Friday. Come join us!
I’ve been reading The Best Yes with my Proverbs 31 Online Bible Study small group! Your life is crazy, your Bible study doesn’t have to be! Come join us!