He Sings Over Me Part 3

If you missed the other parts of this series, feel free to visit the links below:

Part 1

Part 2 

I recently shared many of the thoughts expressed in this blog post during a Toastmasters Meeting. You can view the video of my short speech below: 

 

My Song For My Oldest Son

As I continue to sing each boy’s song at night, my kids don’t have a clue how God has used the words to speak directly to my heart. All nights are not the same. Some are greeted with ease as troubles seem to be distant. Toys areneatly stored away in the bedroom and everything seems just perfect. But then there are tough nights that I struggle to sing to my boys, tripping over toys that seem too far from having a place to hide. 

Days before I became a mom for the first time, I found myself at my local “Build-A-Bear” store, looking to create a memory for my baby boy. The bear was a tan color, so cuddly soft and amazingly cute. I found a little jean jacket for him that fit just right. But what made this little guy a memory was the sound chip I recorded that fit conveniently inside the paw of this special bear. 

When my son would press the button, he would hear my voice saying the verse I named him after:

Joshua, be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged, for The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9) 

This passage became his life song…the song I gave to him. 

Yes, I sang to him at the hospital and throughout each sleepless night at home. 

I sang to him as he crawled onto my lap after an adventurous day of exploration.

I sang to him as he walked to me, leaning, toddling, uncertain yet smiling. 

I sang to him as he grew older, smarter and unfortunately indapendant. 

And one day, he told me that “big boys don’t have baby songs.” 

And just like that, our song stopped…yet it continued deep within my mommy heart. 

That’s why I was so incredibly shaken when my big boy asked for his song during my battle with brain cancer. As we laid there on his bed and he wiped the remaining eyebrow hairs from my face, I could tell he was scared. He bluntly leaned over, cheek to cheek, with one hand on my bald head he asked me point blank – “Mom, are you going to die?” 

Nothing on earth will ever make me forget that moment. Granted, I’ve struggled to remember so many more important life events that brain cancer has forever stolen from me. But the uneasiness of this moment is permanently sealed deep within my mommy heart. 

No mom should ever have to answer that question…and I didn’t have to. 

Why?

His song did. 

My kid asked for me to sing his song before I could answer his question. 

As he started singing that night, all I could hear was Abba whispering directly to my fear and speaking right into my desire to simply give-up this fight. That night I heard: 

Bethany, have I not commanded you to be strong and courageous? Do not be terrified. Do not be discouraged, for I AM The Lord Your God and I will be with you, Bethany, wherever you go. (Joshua 1:9) 

I didn’t feel strong.

I hated the thought of courage.

Yet, God chose to use the song I purposefully gave to my son, to speak into my life at a very crucial moment. God knew well before my little guy was even formed that one day I would be lying here, in a bed with my son, fearing the chemo treatment I would endure again the next morning. He knew my thoughts. He knew my exhaustion. He felt my desperation. He placed the song in my heart not only for my son, but for the future me that needed those words more than I ever knew. 

What? Don’t act so surprised…God totally planned it that way. Love the way He works. 

Sometimes,God will speak through your kids to simply remind you, friend, that you are far from done. You see, God isn’t done with you yet and you never know how the songs you choose today will impact your life tomorrow. So, keep listening to His voice, keep singing His song. Keep dancing with Him and enjoy this dance while it lasts. 

 

Has God ever spoke through a decision you made earlier to impact your present day in a positive way? I’d love to hear your story in the comments! 

Tomorrow “5 Minute Friday” post will end this “Whispers With Abba” series. Thanks for joining me on this journey friends! 

Bethany is an ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach (Christian Coach Institute Graduate), Motivational and Inspirational Speaker, mentor to women and an author. Bethany defines herself as a child of God who loves to use her passion for change to inspire others. She has overcome disabilities, wading through the trials and rewards of marriage and motherhood. She enjoys being a wife to Steve for 10 years and mother to three boys (ages 7, 5 and 2). She is a double brain cancer survivor, a 9 year veteran in the field of youth and children's ministry and has published poetry, featured blog posts for numerous ministry websites and children's ministry curriculum contributions. Bethany is currently working on her first book to be released this Fall as well as various freelancing projects. Bethany always welcomes new coaching clients and speaking opportunities!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

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18 thoughts on “He Sings Over Me Part 3

  1. You inspire me each and every day. Thank you for your open heart, open book about your life journey and friendship! 🙂

    • Mary – You were one of the first people to encourage me to write and now look at what God is doing. Thanks for all you have done and continue to do in my life!

  2. Thank you for this. As a child of a mom with terminal cancer your words encourage me greatly. I pray over my mom constantly and I hope she can feel God speaking through her as you do. Beautiful tribute to your son. Bless you and your family.

  3. Hi Bethany, Your post brought tears to my eyes. I recalled a day shortly after my daughter’s grandmother died (her dad’s mother). I was driving somewhere on a tree lined road, she looked up at the clouds and she asked me if her grandma was ever going to come back. I told her no. I knew at that moment she understood death. It was a real adult moment for a little girl to understand. Tears were streaming down me and I hoped she didn’t see. I knew it was a huge moment in her young life to understand such a concept.

    • Jodi –
      It’s amazing what our kids can understand at such a young age. Josh hit that right age exactly when God planned it. Crazy how perfect His timing is!

  4. Oh sweetheart, I am sitting here in tears after reading this. How completely and totally beautiful are your words and the song that you sing over your precious little one. How God used that one song to speak and minister to your very own heart and soul when you were struggling was indeed part of God’s perfect plan. I found myself reciting my favorite verse after reading your words. It breaks my heart what you have gone through and to have to have this type of a conversation with your little one. But we can be reassured by Jeremiah 29:11 – He knows the plans He has for you, dear one … and they are NOT plans to harm you but to give you hope and a future. Cling to that verse as well as to the beautiful song that you sing over your Joshua.

    Blessings to you and your family, dear child of God!
    Shirley
    http://www.lightlovehope.com

  5. Oh wow! Just wow Bethany. I don’t have a song for my children but I bless them every night with a blessing in The 4:8 Principle…”You are a beautiful wonderful child of God and dad and mom love you always and forever no matter what.”

  6. Oh Bethany, I love this! I love hearing your voice, and not just reading it! Girl… we could hang out inrl… maybe one day we will get to! My only is grown and moved out now, but she still comes home and asks me to tickle her back and sing to her! They – no, WE – never outgrow needing to hear truth sung over us! (Zeph 3:17)

  7. Wow…what an incredible story. Your journey with Abba is such an inspiration. Though my heart breaks for all the scary stuff (we all hate cancer) that you’ve endured, my heart leaps for joy when I read your words of victory – the words of an overcomer because of her faith and trust in God. I love that music (your special song for your son) plays such a key role in your story. Music is a glorious gift from God. (Remember our days together in the worship band?) Thank you for sharing the video too! You are a great speaker!

    • Oh Judy…I miss the worship band!! I really don’t have that great of a singing voice, but I no longer fear using it to tell my story :). Love your comments dear friend! I can’t tell you how encouraging you are to me!!

  8. I. Love. You. You strong, courageous, beautiful beaming Mama Heart, you! Blessed to read another part of your story. Honored to pray as you keep walking boldly forward. For our Abba.

    • Missy – You amaze me! I remember reading your blog during the Proverbs 31 blog hops and thinking, “Wow…God, I wish I could meet her!” I have and we volunteer together! God is amazing!!