Ivig and chemo went okay today. I was in some pretty bad leg pain this morning, but after some relaxation medication I felt no pain…I really felt nothing at all and truthfully, I didn't care! I even fell asleep…and they actually let me sleep a bit…an entire 90 minutes without a dumb math question or “How many fibers am I holding up?”
I missed a LOT of calls today…if you called, I did mean to call you back…I'll be totally honest when I say I completely forgot. I got home and the new nausea medication kicks in when I am not moving…taking care of two boys and NOT moving is NOT possible!! So, I would do a few things, then lie down…do a few more things, then lie back down. Steve got the boys to watch Toy Story 3 on a tv in Josh's room…we don't have cable, so the kids can ask to play a movie and Steve and I don't have to suffer through it. Tonight, the boys made it through the entire thing with not much of a peep….shoot, if I were feeling better we could have really celebrated Valentines the right way! BUT it was great…just sitting and talking, uninterrupted with Steve. I got him a Starbucks tumbler cup and he got me a 24 pack of Sprite. Yep, we are mad for each other…
Quick thought…met a guy today named Jeremy. He is deaf in one ear, blind in one eye and had an iPad…so we hit it off. He couldn't speak well, but he showed me how to chat via iMessage on the iPad…it was SO neat! We started chatting and the chat soon got to Valentines Day and what we were doing. He was a single guy, never dates…never even been kissed. I am married, younger than him and 2 kids. He eventually asked me “How did you get your husband to see past your disabilities? Will I ever find a woman that will see me for who I am? I will never be loved.” For a guy to say that, fully knowing that the girl he is talking to is not available…it just broke me. I just sat there for the longest time looking over at him (he was moved a few chairs down by this point) and soaking in the reality of this moment. Here are 2 people, from completely two different walks of life, both with similar disabilities, both have an iPad and both connected to a chemo bag. I had been fortunate enough to have a husband who accepted me for how God made me and was willing to join me on the adventure of a lifetime. I had a church family that displays love everyday in so many ways, while I am not even doing my job…they accept me for who I am. This guy had never had that. In fact, he turned his back on God because of the way God made him. I shared with him my struggle dealing with accepting Gods plan for my life and how I still believe God does not make mistakes…even if we were both connected to chemo at the moment.
By the end of the chat session, it occurred to me that Jeremy had never really met anyone that could accept him for the way God made him. Everyone around him had dreams for the way they believed he should thrive in life, none of which was the way God wired this guy. Jeremy allowed me to share his story because we tried to define love. Defined it several different ways during our chat, but the one he liked the best was, “I see love as the act of ones acceptance of another person the way God made them and helping them become all God destined them to be.” It might be a different way at looking at love…but it's the one that truly transcends all boundaries and truly God destined. It's awe way we can show Christ to all of the Jeremy's in this world.
So Jeremy, thanks for the chat. Thanks for letting me share your story. Know that the God of the universe knew exactly what He was doing when you were created. You were the apple of His eye and you were planned since the beginning of time. You are not a mistake, but a part of His amazing story here on earth. His Son died so that you can truly live…and know that you indeed are loved by the One who made you…and the Author of love itself. You see, when you really get to know God, love is defined in an entirely new way…you think of your life in an entirely new way too. So, like I offered today, Palm Bay Christian Church is filled with people that have just embarked on this journey…and others that have been on this road for years…but one thing is for certain, nobody does life alone. Our door is open for You (Jeremy) and all the readers here. It's a great family to be a part of where you can truly come as you are. Now that's love.
Have a great Valentines Day. I'll be posting pics of a g'day gift I got from a friend today…I LOVE IT!!!!