Hello everyone! Sorry it has been a little while since I have been
able to update. Yesterday was just so weird. Though it was an amazing
day, I just didn't have the energy to stay up. I ended up sleeping a
total of eight hours yesterday. And I guess I slept through the entire
night as well. But right now after a nap I'm finally ready to update
everyone a little bit!
Yesterday which is Monday, was the most amazing day! It started very
early in the morning when I was actually excited and sent out a quick
email to out leadership team here at Palm Bay Christian Church. It was
very simple, short and right to the point. I was thanking them for
supporting me during this entire amazing journey. Not too many
churches would keep a minister on staff that is not been able to
effectively stay at her job. I ended by saying that I just felt like
God was about to do something big! I really did feel that but I don't
know I just felt like I needed to share it with the guys today. I
remember ending the entire email by asking them to pray for God's will
to be done and for mountains to be moved. I actually used that phrase
a couple times throughout the email.
I was praying specific. I wanted God's will to be done and mountains to be
moved. Nothing more. Nothing less.
Two hours later I found myself again about to begin another round of
radiation. I remember thinking “okay God this is it. it's now or
never. if Youre going to show up, now is the time.” Granted, I knew He
was there but I didn't know if the others knew He was there. I wanted
Him to display His power so everyone knew without a shadow of the
doubt that God was in control.
I wanted it, but there is no given fact that it was Gonna happen. I
felt so strange. There's just nothing in this world that could explain
how I felt, lying there, waiting for my radiation to begin. I felt
sick. I am sick. Am I going insane? Why is it taking so long for them
to start. I wish I was allowed to keep my hearing-aid in. They are
probably talking about me right now. God give me patience. God give me
strength. God give me more patience…
The radiation did start after a long delay. They shine a red light
above me as my cue that they are ready to begin. I shut my eyes and
try to relax. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. No cardio
alarms. The IV went in fine.
But suddenly everything stopped and they yanked me out. The team was
all standing there. I was lying there, deaf. Awkward. My hearing aid
was handed to me and once it was clear that I was ready, Dr. A.
started with “Bethany, we are done for the day. We were able to treat
5% of the tumor.”
I knew he was talking, but my mess didn't get the message that my
treatment was over. The more I tried to listen, the more tired I got.
I just sat there.
Dr A. continued, “Bethany, the reason we could only treat 5% is
because the tumor shrank by 95% before we even started our procedure
Math was never my strong subject. I was already having a very hard
time comprehending what was going on…why was he mixing in math? I
literally missed the point. I just sat there.
At this point someone stopped the medication through the IV. They had
me rest for a few minutes and checked my blood pressure. After getting
dressed, Dr A. tried again (poor guy). He was much more blunt this
time, “Bethany, your frontal lobe tumor is almost gone. It shrank
before our treatment today started. You understand?” I nodded and
smiled. He then went on to explain how on target he was for developing
this new treatment plan and how my radiation last week combined with
the new chemo made it work. He knew it was a risk with my CIDP, but it
was a risk he had to take. He was happy his plan worked. He then
reminded me about my 2 chemo treatments this week and next week's
radiation and chemo.
I made it to the parking lot before it all registered. My tumor
shrank…by more than half! Good thing I had radiation last Monday….
Wait, I had last Monday off. He wanted me to start the new chemo, so I
didn't have radiation. Or did I? Checking calendar…how does this new
iPhone work? “Siri, did I have radiation last Monday?” Not even Siri
had an answer.
I wobbled back in and told the receptionist with Dr A standing there
that I did not have radiation last Monday. “It was Presidents Day, but
we were open” she said. Dr A's eyes got big and leaned over at the
computer as she checked my records. “Well, it looks like you were not
here after all” she said. I heard Dr A ask if that was a mistake
saying my treatment required the radiation…that there was no medical
way this (bleeping) tumor could respond this well just on chemo. He
looked straight at me and said it all again. He was angry, I was
smiling…and suddenly really lightheaded. Dr A was still ranting when
I walked away to sit down.
I sat there praying not to pass out…the cardio team had left and Dr
A was, well, preoccupied. A woman sat beside me and just started
talking. I said nothing…I barely even made eye contact. She said she
heard Dr A say my tumor shrank and there was no possible way. She told
me God did it and that He was so evident in my life. She said her
grand daughter was here getting some treatment, but she couldn't go
back with her. She had a son that passed away from cancer…she
couldn't go through that again. She didn't even want to be here today.
She hated God and she's been running from Him for a long time. Then
she looked at me and said, “But today, I see Gods not done yet…He is
alive in you. Young lady, you've got a story and you gotta share it!”
I just sat there. I didn't pass out…but I listened. She tapped my
leg and left to join her granddaughter.
I knew God moved a mountain. I was so happy, yet so tired. I updated
Facebook late last night before going back to sleep!
I'm excited, but I feel alone. I can't help but want others around me
to have these experiences to. I'm just a normal person here…God can
move other mountains too. I think God has set a new passion in my
life…I want others to experience what living by faith looks and
feels like. It's a journey, but well worth it. I feel like God has
given me a second chance at life…to live it to its fullest.
More mountain moving to come…don't just stay tuned, come join in the journey!
Sent from my iPhone