I couldn’t think of a better title for this day. A day that blew up my understanding of God once again. Just when I thought I was starting to understand this amazing Healer and Comforter I learn today that HE is quite a dancer as well.
Perhaps I should start at the beginning.
This morning I was not feeling well…but I haven’t missed a Sunday since July when my health started tinkering…so it really does take a force of nature to keep me home. Plus, these family moments on Sundays keep my week going. I can’t make it through without my Palm Bay Christian Church family.
I’ve written about how PBCC has pulled together and supported our family in so many ways. Meals are still being brought-in, cards mailed, kids played with…and spoiled, phone calls made, emails sent, office cleaned and volunteers pull together to make everything work as if I was still there…(not as good as me being there…but close!).
I get to church an hour before our adult Bible study hour every Sunday…8AM sharp. I walk around the building trying to get everything set-up. I’m learning that pushing, pulling and quick turns are not my strong points…yet!
I have a bit of downtime, so I spend a few minutes in with the adult Bible study group…love this class! I can’t go in or leave without smiling! Great discussion too…maybe I can catch next week too!
Headed into the service…still walking and stopping frequently for hugs and to retell my Friday story again…I don’t mind, it doesn’t get old! Love just being with close friends here…I feel like everyone gets me in such a close way…oh, and I get them too! That’s why the term “church” defines people, rather than a building.
Because of doctors orders I was confined to just attending church…not really being able to do my ministry roles with the kids, volunteers…I still feel lacking in this part of my life. Yet, its when I just come, without a title, that I realize this congregation…these people truly accept me for who I am as a person. I’m not just a staff member to them…I’m really part of the family. The worship service starts…I’m moving my feet…literally to the music. I haven’t been able to stand for worship in months…loving the new view!
So many of the songs took on new meaning today. I sang to God rather than about Him. Words are amazing. If I had more energy I would add a few lyrics but I’m just way too tired tonight.
Ken did an amazing job with communion sharing the joy of being a father for a full year. Tracy spoke on the father’s role in the Prodigal Son parable. I’ve lived this parable inside the college classroom, on the children’s ministry stage and in my devotional life. Yet today…I got a glimpse of my Abba Father in a new way.
HE dances. Not only does He dance, but he busts a groove with me! So many times I catch myself whispering “Thank You” to Him during the day. This story ended with a party where we can see the dad in the story is throwing for his lost son. The father doesn’t judge, he forgives and says, Lets party! (This is extremely short tonight…I’m tired but will follow-up with another blog just on this parable at a later time…Tracy Twaddell is such an AMAZING part of our church here at PBCC. He is the one who showed me that God can truly use anyone, no matter where they may find themself. Great messages from an amazing minister.
On Friday, I felt like dancing…literally and I pictured God looking down at me smiling. But today, for the first time (flowing from the message) I realized I wasn’t dancing alone…He was right there celebrating with me the entire time.
At the end of the service, Steve and I were called forward. My big news from Friday was shared…not by me, but through one of our leaders. I’m telling you people…if you want to be humbled, hear your testimony through another set of eyes. I was in tears…I NEVER cry…and I was completely drenched! …I really don’t like crying in public…but being this is my church family it was better…everyone joined with us in celebration.
But…as I should have known, our PBCC family took it a step farther. They were taking up donations in order to start a fund to help us with my medical expenses. The amount raised just left me absolutely speechless that a church could do. I’m not mentioning a number here because numbers are not important. People actively joining together to meet an incredible need out of love…thats something I have never received before. I’m still struggling to come up with the right words to describe my feelings tonight…
I still feel so just…LOVED. To think that our congregation…our family came together for such a big way for a couple of joes like us…RIGHT when I was feeling so unfilled by not being able to do my role here the way I used to, my family comes around me and loves me…loves us just the way we are. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS…but I’m working on it.
Excited, thankful, blessed, gracious, empathetic, un-deserved, loved
I give up! God is going to remain unexplainable and able to meet all of my needs. This week I start by giving up my desire to understand God…instead, I think I’m going to just dance.
PRAYER REQUEST – Folllw-up drs appointment tomorrow at 1:30. Pray that they find nothing! If something is needed…pray that it is easy. I need my Children’s Pastors Conference in Orlando…I want the green light to go and be free for a bit. Say a prayer for me please!
Goodnight! I’m going to attempt going to bed now…it would be SO nice to just drift off and stay asleep….