Courage To Let One Stick

As I heard my name spoken out loud that evening, my hands trembled and my throat tightened to swallow hard. My mind was racing as I seemed to float my way to the front of the classroom one week ago on a selected Thursday evening – an evening I decided to let one label stick. 

A week ago, I presented my first speech, notoriously named “The Icebreaker” to affirm my new Toastmasters membership (a club for those wanting to find their public speaking confidence and voice). Never before had I ever shared a speech, let alone a talk about my life. As I peered into the eyes of my fellow club members, most advanced in their public speaking passion, I felt like an ant amongst butterflies…starting as a caterpillar even seemed too far of a stretch. 

Yet, I decided to share my labels because I finally allowed one to stick that I was proud of. 

Below is my speech transcript. A side note to those of you in the Limitless Life Study – this speech that God put on my heart was crafted and delivered before I even cracked the cover of our book. Just this past weekend my jaw hit the floor as I read through the introduction for the first time. Indeed, our God has us right where He wants us to be. 

 

In life, we are handed many labels, whether we like them to define us or not. Labels can be handed to us from circumstances, others or even our own markings. But tonight friends I want you to remember – 

A label can only define you if you allow it to stick. 

“Disabled”

I was born with vision-loss in both eyes, severe hearing-loss in both ears and a right arm that was considerably smaller (most would say even weaker) than my left. The label “Disabled” loomed over me like a brick. Yet, this label did have its advantages. I was able to purchase contacts for half-off being I only had good enough vision in one eye. Hearing the world for most was a necessity, but with hearing-aids any unnecessary noise for me could instantly become optional through the “off” switch. If you ever want to witness a stranger squirm, watch an instantaneous prayer circle as the new friend on my right tries to decide if it’s descent to hold my right hand or not (I for one have enjoyed this reaction). 

Yet, as I accepted this label, I suffered with feeling that I had absolutely no value. I heard the stories in church about this loving Creator God that made the moon shine bright as the stars. Yet, why would such a loving Creator simply stop when creating me? Why was I His mistake? The feeling and constant reality of my insignificance just ate away at my childhood. 

But, a label can only define you if you allow it to stick. 

 

“Wife And Mom”

I never dreamed of a wedding, or collected bridal pictures or even really dated anyone until college. Why? Because girls with disabilities are told by wise and caring individuals (all married by the way) that sometimes God calls people to a single life (advice – don’t ever pitch this line to a single girl). I’m so thankful God had other plans. Just weeks before I was headed off to my first full-time position deep West, my boyfriend asks for my hand in marriage. Because he was completing his last year of college back East, we spent our one year engagement period literally on opposite ends of the country. Now…

9 years 

9 moves

3 dogs

3 kids

3 states

and way too many goldfish later – God still has us together and I accepted my new role as wife and mom. 

Although I like this label a lot better than the previous layer, it too shared weakness. I am a wife and a mom that constantly fights to measure-up to that woman appearing all-together, always organized, meeting everyone’s needs and summarizes Proverbs 31 perfectly each and everyday. So many nights I would crawl into bed feeling so far from hitting anywhere close to the ballpark parking-lot with my husband and kids. It’s hard to have a label that you never feel like you deserve. 

But a label can only define you if you allow it to stick. 

 

“Cancer Survivor”

What started out as a month-long headache (literally) eventually revealed double malignant brain tumors. I did not welcome this label. Truthfully, there were days I could not talk to God because of the pain I felt was keeping us apart. I went from running around the yard with my two young boys to barely able to sit-up in bed without wrenching in pain. Lying next to my eldest son, then a 4 year-old, I was asked the question, “Mom, are you going to die?” For any mom to even think about this question, you honestly wish you could disappear just to allow your family an opportunity to move forward. Yet this question echoed in my mind the day I was told, “Mrs. Boring, we can’t locate the tumors on this scan. We will need to schedule a follow-up.” Many follow-ups later, with the same results, I finally entered into remission status. I wasn’t going anywhere and as a wife and a mom I gained the title of being a “Cancer Survivor.” 

As days, weeks and even months passed, I found it incredibly difficult to move past the trauma I had limped through. Under the “survivors pride” sat a little girl scared and frozen to move. Is this permanent? What can I do safely? Even with the unexpected birth of our third child, I wrestled through each rescan. I was defined by my past. 

A label can only define you if you allow it to stick. 

 

“Child of God”

There is one label I just recently allowed to stick, pierce my heart, root in my core and change the way I view my identity. Because of Christ, I have the right to be labeled as a child of God. This changes everything. 

This is the only identity that welcomes Truth and allows me to overcome my disabilities, be the best wife and mom I was created to be and encourage others from my past.
GOD SAYS –
I may have disabilities but I am valuable.
In my role as a wife and mom, I belong to Him first.
I am a cancer survivor and I have a future being written daily by His hand.

A label can only define you if you allow it to stick. 

I finally found a label I want to stick and I love the freedom it brings! 

And now Bethany, just as you accepted Me as your Lord, you must continue to follow Me. Let your roots grow down into Me, and let your life be built on Me. Then your faith will grow strong in the Truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness. (Colossians 2:6, 7 NLT)

 

Bethany is an ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach (Christian Coach Institute Graduate), Motivational and Inspirational Speaker, mentor to women and an author. Bethany defines herself as a child of God who loves to use her passion for change to inspire others. She has overcome disabilities, wading through the trials and rewards of marriage and motherhood. She enjoys being a wife to Steve for 10 years and mother to three boys (ages 7, 5 and 2). She is a double brain cancer survivor, a 9 year veteran in the field of youth and children's ministry and has published poetry, featured blog posts for numerous ministry websites and children's ministry curriculum contributions. Bethany is currently working on her first book to be released this Fall as well as various freelancing projects. Bethany always welcomes new coaching clients and speaking opportunities!

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

121 thoughts on “Courage To Let One Stick

  1. I love when you said, “There is one label I just recently allowed to stick, pierce my heart, root in my core and change the way I view my identity. Because of Christ, I have the right to be labeled as a child of God. This changes everything.

    This is the only identity that welcomes Truth and allows me to overcome my disabilities, be the best wife and mom I was created to be and encourage others from my past.”

    So good…thanks for sharing!!!

  2. I love when you said, “There is one label I just recently allowed to stick, pierce my heart, root in my core and change the way I view my identity. Because of Christ, I have the right to be labeled as a child of God. This changes everything.

    This is the only identity that welcomes Truth and allows me to overcome my disabilities, be the best wife and mom I was created to be and encourage others from my past.”

    So good…thanks for sharing!!!

  3. WOW! You sure hit this one out of the ballpark girl! What a beautiful and powerful testimony of God’s faithfulness and healing. I bet you were indeed floored when you read our first chapter. This really touched my heart, and I love your perspective. Thank you so much for sharing this. It has touched me deeply.

    Melissa

  4. WOW! You sure hit this one out of the ballpark girl! What a beautiful and powerful testimony of God’s faithfulness and healing. I bet you were indeed floored when you read our first chapter. This really touched my heart, and I love your perspective. Thank you so much for sharing this. It has touched me deeply.

    Melissa

  5. Bethany, what an amazing testimony! The obstacles you have overcome, wow what an inspiration you are! I love how God confirmed your desire to not let the labels stick by leading you to Limitless Life! Big things are in store for you, thank you for sharing your story

    • Love Proverbs 31 OBS! Every study we do seems to be at just the perfect time in my life!!! It is God all the way! Thanks for reading, encouraging and commenting!!

  6. Bethany, what an amazing testimony! The obstacles you have overcome, wow what an inspiration you are! I love how God confirmed your desire to not let the labels stick by leading you to Limitless Life! Big things are in store for you, thank you for sharing your story

    • Love Proverbs 31 OBS! Every study we do seems to be at just the perfect time in my life!!! It is God all the way! Thanks for reading, encouraging and commenting!!

  7. What a great testimony, Bethany. You are amazing. Thanks for your encouraging words. It is amazing how God put this on your heart before you even started reading the book. WOW! I ail remember this “A label can only define you if you let it stick ” Praise the Lord.

    • I loved how Gods timing just echoed through chapter 1…it is still resounding and I’m on chapter 3!! Thanks for reading, encouraging and commenting!!

  8. What a great testimony, Bethany. You are amazing. Thanks for your encouraging words. It is amazing how God put this on your heart before you even started reading the book. WOW! I ail remember this “A label can only define you if you let it stick ” Praise the Lord.

    • I loved how Gods timing just echoed through chapter 1…it is still resounding and I’m on chapter 3!! Thanks for reading, encouraging and commenting!!

  9. Your story is so encouraging! Its hard to look past those labels when we are reminded of it daily, but that line is so true. A label can only define you if you allow it to stick. Which is easier said than done, but God does want to take this pain from us.

    • Agreed – is is much easier said than done…yet saying it, believing it and surrounding yourself with others that believe it and you…well, that helps get it done! I believe in Him…and I believe in you! Thanks for reading, encouraging and commenting!!

  10. Your story is so encouraging! Its hard to look past those labels when we are reminded of it daily, but that line is so true. A label can only define you if you allow it to stick. Which is easier said than done, but God does want to take this pain from us.

    • Agreed – is is much easier said than done…yet saying it, believing it and surrounding yourself with others that believe it and you…well, that helps get it done! I believe in Him…and I believe in you! Thanks for reading, encouraging and commenting!!

  11. bethany you blow me away my sweet sister in christ – you are amazing and your testimony both floors and humbles me – God is doing such huge things in your life. keep following His lead and you’re going to go sooo far!!

    • Hope – girl…this left me in tears! Oh my goodness…love you!!! We will support one another as we travel together down this writing journey! So glad you are in my life!!!!

  12. bethany you blow me away my sweet sister in christ – you are amazing and your testimony both floors and humbles me – God is doing such huge things in your life. keep following His lead and you’re going to go sooo far!!

    • Hope – girl…this left me in tears! Oh my goodness…love you!!! We will support one another as we travel together down this writing journey! So glad you are in my life!!!!

    • Speechless…I find many times God speaks to me through my typing fingers than through my mouth…it leaves me speechless too! Thanks for reading, encouraging and commenting!!

  13. Amazing – there’s another label for you! You are an amazing child of God who was wonderfully made! Big hugs to you sister! So grateful to “meet” you during this P31 Limitless Bible Study!
    ~ Julie

  14. Amazing – there’s another label for you! You are an amazing child of God who was wonderfully made! Big hugs to you sister! So grateful to “meet” you during this P31 Limitless Bible Study!
    ~ Julie

  15. Wow! Thank you so much Bethany. You are right you are a child of God. Powerful testimony. God bless you and your family.

  16. Wow! Thank you so much Bethany. You are right you are a child of God. Powerful testimony. God bless you and your family.

  17. What a beautiful, beautiful love story in so many ways. Thanks so much for sharing and for the encouragement. our grandson was born last year with some disabilities. You make dreams look possible. Debbie W. (Proverbs 31 OBS Ministry Team)

    • Debbie – HE makes dreams reality…none of this has anything to do about me. There are days I look around now and go, “God, why did You rescue me?” I truly believe it is simply to give hope to those who feel alone, lost and discouraged. I’m not hope…but I know Who hope is.

  18. What a beautiful, beautiful love story in so many ways. Thanks so much for sharing and for the encouragement. our grandson was born last year with some disabilities. You make dreams look possible. Debbie W. (Proverbs 31 OBS Ministry Team)

    • Debbie – HE makes dreams reality…none of this has anything to do about me. There are days I look around now and go, “God, why did You rescue me?” I truly believe it is simply to give hope to those who feel alone, lost and discouraged. I’m not hope…but I know Who hope is.

  19. You are absolutely amazing…your courage, your strength, your endurance through difficulties and trials makes me want to stop complaining and feeling sorry for myself. You have come such a long way, beautiful inside out, why because you display Christ like qualities. A strong tower and I’m blessed to have read this, blessed to have shared in your life story, blessed because you are indeed blessed, why because you are loved…and Christ lives in you…your labels are shed my COURAGEOUS sister in The Lord, to me you are a warrior…a true David who has stoned many Goliaths in your life. Big hugs….

    • Your words are so humbling, encouraging and I sit here marveling at how incredibly awesome our God is! How great is it that He chooses to use ordinary yet equipped folks like us to do bigger things than we can ever imagine! You my friend have a gift with words and encouragement!!!

  20. You are absolutely amazing…your courage, your strength, your endurance through difficulties and trials makes me want to stop complaining and feeling sorry for myself. You have come such a long way, beautiful inside out, why because you display Christ like qualities. A strong tower and I’m blessed to have read this, blessed to have shared in your life story, blessed because you are indeed blessed, why because you are loved…and Christ lives in you…your labels are shed my COURAGEOUS sister in The Lord, to me you are a warrior…a true David who has stoned many Goliaths in your life. Big hugs….

    • Your words are so humbling, encouraging and I sit here marveling at how incredibly awesome our God is! How great is it that He chooses to use ordinary yet equipped folks like us to do bigger things than we can ever imagine! You my friend have a gift with words and encouragement!!!

  21. You are amazing Sweet Sister. Thank you for sharing. The Lord has given you a special gift. Keep listening and following. Love You!!!!!!!!!!!

  22. You are amazing Sweet Sister. Thank you for sharing. The Lord has given you a special gift. Keep listening and following. Love You!!!!!!!!!!!

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