This week has been so out of even the new found normal for me. I'm very much a people person, but this week I have been so exhausted (physically and emotionally) I haven't really even been feeling up to trying to get out much. Steve decided to pick-up Josh early today from preschool and took Caden and myself with him. We drove around a bit with the a/c blasting…just the way I needed it.
As far as Thursday went, I was by myself again just so that they could monitor my cardio issues. At this point, the belief is that either the tumor or the CIDP is allowing my brain to send false signals to my heart, causing periodic heart drops in reaction to the chemo. I knew in advance that the chemo was more aggressive and would not play nice with my CIDP, but I underestimated the havoc it wrecked on my body this week. However, I am eating dinner every night now…Steve still says its not a whole meal, but it's all going down and staying down. I'm finding my balance is becoming a bit more of a challenge. I'm completely exhausted. My eyes have focusing issues at times. The leg pain hasn't exactly helped this week go much easier.
Yesterday, I returned from treatment completely exhausted. As soon as I made it passed the front door I was greeted by several boxes and cards! I literally sat on the ground for a few minutes debating if I should attempt to open right then or take a nap. Curiosity won. I received an AMAZING care package from Ashlee and her mom from Kentucky…a drinking cup (which Caden believes is his…boy is he wrong), soft socks, nail polish, lotions, earrings made by Karen and a journal! Everything even matched! I was SO excited…and Steve had to remind me I had more! Sarah (the girl I met last week) has a brother-in-law that works with cell phones. Sarah sent me an email earlier on in the week asking if I could use another phone…the one I have is constantly freezing, gps fails constantly, hangs up on itself and I can't get an upgrade. We are with Virgin Mobile, a pay-as-you-go company that operates off of the Sprint towers. When we were talking during treatment, my phone literally dialed three random people while it was sitting on a table a few feet away. She asked me then why I didn't get a new phone…between cost and trying to pay $50 bucks or less for my unlimited everything (talk, text and web) I wasn't finding any good deals. She agreed. In the other packages I received a new iPhone from Sarah's brother-in-law that operated off of the Straight Talk network…everything I need for $45 a month…wow. He even included an Apple warranty! I've been playing with it a bit today (I haven't ported over my number yet). Steve says I have officially crossed over to the Mac side. After waking up from my nap yesterday, I opened up 3 cards from friends here in Florida…all 3 made me laugh out loud with personal messages included. Late last night I realized I missed a package…Sarah sent me a new case for my new iPhone! It was beyond me how to even attempt getting the thing on, but Steve got it and wow…there's no way this phone is going to break(did I mention I've dropped my phone a few times??). I've already talked with Sarah and Facebooked with Ashlee…and my Florida friends will get a call over the weekend (from one phone or the other)….but WOW! I feel like I was ambushed by love!
John 10:10 “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
Some translations have the term “abundance” instead of “full.” I thought of this passage as I went to bed last night. I finally really got it. All of these things I received were great and really, I hadn't really touched them last night…because I was celebrating the PEOPLE behind the gifts. friends in Kentucky that can support one another though far away, a new friend brought into my life through Gods perfect timing and my church family walking this road with me one step at a time. Never have I felt so terrified, yet so full of life. I have gained such a new perspective about what it means to truly live through the faces and lives that God has brought into my world through all of this. This is living life to its fullest.
Thank you everyone for your encouragement!!! The timing was just amazing…and once again, God provided what I needed when I most needed it. You all have no idea the impact you are making in my life. LOVE YOU ALL!!!!