Step Out & Thrive Ministries with Bethany Boring
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Change Is Possible

A few days ago, I found myself catching my breath, hands firmly planted on our trusted minivan steering wheel. It was yet another school morning and my clan wasn’t feeling excited. Our middle kiddo was still brushing away a few tears from the mad rush out the door. Yet, as my eyes glanced back to notice his face of disappointment I also caught a glimpse of white and black whirling streak. What landed just inches away from my face just sent my mommy nerves on edge.

White socks.

Black shoes.

Another look back revealed two bare feet.

To be completely honest, on this particular crazy mommy Monday, I was actually thankful we remembered his shoes (socks we can do without if needed, right?).

A few minutes later the mad rush continues through the constant stop and go carpool lane. He knows he will be disembarking this vessel, even if his shoes are not on properly. This was not going to end well. Perhaps my awesome fake mommy smile can hide the insecurities of our morning?  The teacher pulled open the door and out he plopped, shoes and all. As he waved back, I finally noticed the evidence of our crazy morning disaster.

His pants were on backwards.

But he was wearing underwear, so it was still a good day.

 Change is possible. 

[tweetthis]Change is possible. Before you change your mind, first look at changing your heart. [/tweetthis]

Our mornings don’t have to be crazy. As moms, we deserve more of a break than catching our breath at the longest stoplight ever, screaming at the WWF match continuing in the backseat. Yet, I know, you have tried everything. And yet you search the Internet for a guide or pinterest suggestions for a stress-free morning. (Even now you smirk with doubt…I see you. I am one of you too).

My answer came through the teamwork of many great classmates during an extra bonus lab offered through Christian Coach Institute’s Certified Professional Life Coach training course. I thought my need was so much smaller, incredibly insignificant to what many consider worth their time to meet with a coach. My little, petty issue seemed like a problem that simply needed new suggestions. What I received was guidance into why this morning chaos was truly triggering such feelings of disappointment. Coaching does that. Suddenly you are not alone in this. Suddenly, someone is really interested in you, your life, your goals and wants you to succeed.

I wanted my kids to have an easy start to their day, be excited to rise and feel like they could get themselves ready without my help. I wanted them to be able to have an atmosphere of encouragement and though it seemed too crazy – how incredible would it be to have them start their day in God’s Word? Just saying…for this mommy, that truly would be a dream come true.

It was through a coaching session with my peers that a plan was created that fit the values of our family and inspired me to usher in change. A needed change. An attainable change. A realistic change.

Change is possible. 

The plan: I would have a meeting with our older boys and work with them to come up with ideas to motivate cooperation in the morning. Here is the fruit of our time together:

We worked as a family to decide on what the older two needed to do in order to leave for school in the morning. We came up with rewarding activities they could enjoy if they were ready before we needed to leave (the main reward being time to play on the kids Bible app…SCORE for mommy!). We also set a goal to see if we could complete this new routine everyday for the rest of the week (with an ice-cream celebration planned for this weekend for 4 completed days). In our house, this occurred last Monday.

And then the next morning arrived. The boys were eager to get going. I jumped in and assisted when asked, but no yelling, no bribery…in fact, I never even raised my voice. Truthfully, it felt odd, even surreal. Minutes before I ushered the crew out the door, both boys sat, engaged in the kids Bible app. Again, no fighting. A quiet, peaceful house. Seriously…I fought back screaming for joy.

Change is possible. 

As we jumped in the minivan, our crew head bobbed energetically to our Christian radio station. We prayed together before entering the first of two carpool lines. We even had time and smiles remaining for a fun victory selfie:

But the absolute jaw dropping moment from this morning of change occurred as my oldest was disembarking the minivan to head to school. Usually this is a quick parting gesture and I drive off watching the back of his sneakers run off to class. But not today. As he bolted out of the van, he came right up to my window and asked, “Mom, can we do this tomorrow morning too…PLEASE?” “Yes” I replied…after a brief shocking pause.

I saw excitement dancing across my son’s face.

This excitement had nothing to do with a new toy, or getting his way. This moment wasn’t filled with a hidden agenda. No. He was excited to spend a morning together in a fun, rewarding way.

He was happy. I was happy. We crossed a goal together.

Before he started off for class, he met my eyes again and said, “Mom this was the best morning ever! I love you!”

Seriously melted right there in my food-stained, sunk-in minivan seat. Oh, yes God, this was worth it. Thank You.

Proud mommy moment frozen to look back on later.

The teachers looked right at us. The carpool drivers suddenly smiled in unison. Even a little girl stopped to see what on earth had just occurred.

Yes…mommy was loved. I felt it. I welcomed it. I processed thoroughly by hitting every single red light on the way home, thanking God for allowing me the ability to stop in time to experience a morning un-rushed.

A morning with my boys instead of a morning against my boys.

Change is possible.

Stop believing the lies that change isn’t possible.

Stop thinking our kids can’t handle change.

Stop thinking we can’t change.

Coaching focuses you to stop, reflect and really rethink why the very hurdle you are jumping means so much to you personally. Connecting with the core will keep the motivation for change going, days, weeks and years later. Yes, the Internet is filled with ways to handle that hurdle, but only you know what conquering this hurdle can do for you. Only you know your values. Only you know your family.

Don’t let the rush of life lie to you and prevent you from making changes to view life differently. Maybe you need more red lights? Or maybe you need a Life Coach (hang-on to that thought for just a few more weeks! I can’t wait to start my journey with many of you!).

Change is possible. 

I’d love to hear your story of change! Feel free to share with me in the comments!

About the Author Bethany

I am an ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach (Christian Coach Institute Graduate), Motivational and Inspirational Speaker, mentor to women and an author. I am an author, blogger, ICF trained Certified Professional Christian Life Coach, Motivational and Inspirational Speaker and encourager. More than anything, I define myself as a child of God. I simply desire to use my passion for thriving (getting every single drop out of life) to inspire others. I have overcome disabilities (coloboma vision-loss, severe hearing-loss and a small right arm). I am a double brain cancer survivor. I use the story God has given me to move beyond what I am surviving and thrive in His promises. I enjoy being a wife to Steve for over 12 years and mother to three boys (ages 9, 7 and 4).

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20 comments
Bonnie Lyn Smith says March 18, 2015

Bethany! Oh my goodness! First of all, I read your bio page, and you are an amazing person! Second, really, if we lived in the same area, I could really use a coffee time with you! I love hearing how this coach moment helped you so significantly, and your peeps are so cute! This was the line that grabbed me (although the entire thing was so real): “A morning with my boys instead of a morning against my boys.” Yeah, hit me in the heart in all good ways! My morning routine seems so frenzied, and one has anxiety/OCD/ADHD, so that adds to how fun getting out the door is. Thank you for this. I tweeted it! Blessings from Bonnie at Christian Women Bloggers Unite!

    Bethany says March 18, 2015

    Thank you Bonnie!! It’s so nice to connect with other moms that connect with a similar heartbeat! Wish you lived closer too (but I love Skype too…use it all the time in my coaching!). Prayed for you tonight! May tomorrow morning be a bit more peaceful for you too!

Kristin Hill Taylor says March 18, 2015

There is such hope in recognizing that change is possible. God doesn’t want to leave us the same. He wants us to encounter his grace and spurs on change in our lives. Such good encouragement here, Bethany. Thanks for linking up at #ThreeWordWednesday.

    Bethany says March 18, 2015

    Kristin – YES!! That Hope and seeing that come alive during my conversation with others is EXACTLY what fires me up about coaching! You nailed it my friend!!

Melody says March 18, 2015

Oh yeah, that’s awesome. It does feel great to see the fruit of change in our lives. And taking that initial step is usually the hardest. I love this. I needed to hear it today.

    Bethany says March 18, 2015

    Melody – That first step indeed is the hardest. But I love that we are not alone. God meets our needs in the most amazing ways! Thanks for stopping by!

Susan says March 18, 2015

A morning with my kids rather than against them. Love that!

    Bethany says March 18, 2015

    I guess I should have made that line a tweet! :). Love your insights friend!!!

Elizabeth Thompson says March 18, 2015

Loved this, Bethany! Congrats on the major family victory! I love how proud and excited your boys were—SUCH a good feeling. And I love how you brought your kids in on planning your goals and changes, so they really OWNED the changes with you. We’ve been experimenting with two-minute breakfast table devotions with our kids lately, and have really enjoyed them—not every day, because some mornings are just too nuts—but on the mornings when we can slow down and chat for a few minutes before we all pile in the minivan. Here’s where I post the devotions we’ve tried, if your boys decide they’re up for more morning bonding: http://lizzylife.com/category/two-minute-devotions/ Hope tomorrow morning goes even better, and thanks for the great post! 😀

    Bethany says March 18, 2015

    Elizabeth – I’ll have to check out the two minute devotional concept. We are currently using the Bible app for kids and the Youversion “Heroes of the Bible” devotions for kids. We do our long family devotions at night. For my crew, it calms them down and calms me down too! I usually try to start a conversation about our verse of the week on the way to school (emphasis on TRY). I’ll put this in my resource bag!

Laura says March 18, 2015

I love that you engaged your boys and included them on making the goals. I desperately need help and change with our three year old’s bedtime routine he fights us just about every night and by the end of the day this tired mommy can’t take anymore. Praying about ways we can change bedtime for the better so it’s smooth, calm and peaceful!

    Bethany says March 18, 2015

    Oh Laura – I can sense the frustration through your words my friend!! That age is HARD!! Praying for you right now for an easier night. Let me know if you might be interested in a coaching session 🙂

Chris Carter says March 18, 2015

Oh those dreaded mornings that unravel!! I just love how you were able to literally transform them and your kids have seen how the morning routine can be a beloved blessing!! Such a great read, Bethany!!

I pray with my kids in the car on the way to school every single day. No matter how the start goes at home (Which thank GOD is pretty routine and drama free). We have been doing this for years- and my kids bask in the glow of our God as they get out of the car every single day- beginning their day with praise and inviting God into their day. Best part of my day- every single day. 🙂

    Bethany says March 18, 2015

    Love this Chris!! I love turning down the radio and listening as our boys pray for their friends, bugs, teachers, not to get in trouble and for a good lunch! It just reminds me of my need to simply be His child. Look for His fingerprints. It really is an awesome way to start the morning!!!

Tara says March 18, 2015

Change is possible. I love this story friend! I cannot wait to hear more about your life coach experience.

    Bethany says March 19, 2015

    Thanks Tara! This life coaching journey has been and continues to be life changing! I feel so alive, free and called! I’ll be sharing more when I can put words to the canvas!

Maranda says March 18, 2015

Have you ever been told that you are at least half genius? I dread mornings. Actually, I dread anytime we have to leave the house. It requires so much work. Boys do not think they need to wear random articles of clothing, or if they are wearing clothes they should be covered in mud in the two seconds it takes me to lock the door. It breaks my heart to see my anger and frustration hurt my children. My seven year old said recently, “Mommy, I don’t want to fight with you, can we just get along?” <hello?!! A lesson from my son. We love visuals here, charts and stickers and smiley faces and check marks….I've never thought of this before!! This could very well be life changing!!! I might even do something similar with a trip to the grocery store! It nearly sounds like a dream to picture my family walking through WalMart without a thick tension hovering over us like a cloud!

    Bethany says March 19, 2015

    Oh Maranda!!! I’m so glad you have found value in this! I can relate to you!! Please keep in mind, this plan was constructed after a coaching session…it was a dream of mine too! That’s what coaching does…it helps connect the should be with the could be. This may or may not work for you my friend, but hoping you can connect with someone that can help you discover your should be too!! Love your heart!!! My next post should be my mommy washing detergent recipe! Ha!

KC says March 19, 2015

I have some great morning stories myself. Once as I was walking my daughter to her class I thought her clothes looked weird and bulky. I finally took a good look at her and saw she was wearing pajamas under her clothes because she didn’t want to take the time to get undressed because I was always yelling at her to hurry up! Mornings were always a rough time around our house and all that time I thought I was the only one 😉

    Bethany says March 19, 2015

    KC – You. Are. NOT. Alone! As moms, I think we often believe our craziness would completely scare any chance of human contact away. I’ve found the more of my mess that I share, the more I see His Message to others. We are so not perfect (just ask my kids!). You can find comfort in Him and right here! Bring it on!!

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